while

Well, it's been a while, no? Here we are, at the brink of something absolutely amazing: a new age. A new age of freedom: an age in which things are moving at about at fantastic speeds. I speak of cars, but you speak of something different, don't you?

First day of school-a poem

It's the first day of school
and I can hardly wait!
I already have breakfast being served on my plate:
Pancakes and waffles and muffins-oh joy!
Butter and syrup and jams-oh boy!
Now onto school, but i don't really care,
All i want is that is that kid's candied pear!
(Give me that!)
Now onto to the next meal,
and at school its a treat!
French fries, oh boy so golden and crisp!
Sausage that gleams like a cool summer mist!
A bowful of jelly, with a dollop of cream!
A fistful of nuggets: a glutton boy's dream!
Cakes, jams, and jellies: all on a dish
A delicious cut of the rarest of fish!
To drink- oh what to choose!
I want them all, there's nothing to lose!
Syrupy soda, also called pop
If I spill on the floor, I dont need a mop...
(Here, I'll get that!)
I need a break, a little nap
But not now-Candy to unwrap!
I have bars of fudge-an obvious delight
I have chocolate spheres, so airy and light
I can hardly wait for my midevening snack
but not before I come right back for more food for myself!
I love to eat! There's nothing I won't!
Please, give me food! Eat eat eat eat
eat eat eat eat eat. Gobble gobble gobble.
(I just love it when i make that sound,
I remind myself of one of the most
delicious things around: a turkey!)
I'd eat a whole turkey whole,
Just give me a fork, a knife, and a bowl!
I'd eat the world if it were on a plate!
I'd eat the the contintental United State(s)
and save the other two for a delicious dessert.
Oh, I need to eat, I think I am hungry
Oh, there's gotta be food in here somewhere.
Oh, there's a nice piece of pizza-PIZZA!
Oh my how much I love the
sound of that word!
I love eating so much I could eat the
rest of my days and still it wouldn't be enough!
EAT!

elders

The fat elder lifted his hand up to the donut. He lifted the lard-filled treat to his mouth and devoured gluttonously. He was by far the heaviest elder, by at least five hundred pounds. He was so fat that he needed special pants to be made for him as no pant size on earth would suit his enormous girth. A typical day for him included eating a few peasants for breakfast, then sitting upon his seat to hear the daily nonsense he heard in his elder position. He hated being an elder: all he wanted was to eat more peasants!

story

"Who among you hasn't flown?" the teacher said to the class. Several of the students smirked and laughed if off. Hey, this guy's crazy! I bet he won't give much homework! The professor continued, undaunted: "Bill." Bill looked up at the teacher astonished. How did the teacher know his name? Oh, I know much more than your name, Bill. Bill shook his head. Was that the teacher's voice inside of his head? Yes, the teacher continued, I can read and speak into people's minds. I noticed something strange when I came across you: you seem to possess this gift as well. I will be talking to you again. Bill couldn't believe it: golly, the teacher can read minds just like me! Bill dashed home after class and leapt into his room. He instantly began reading his neighbor's mind: Oh, what is this? I haven't even been home five minutes with someone telling me to do some chore! I hate everything! Bill jotted down a few notes and looked up out of his window. The next day of school was going to be very interesting...

another theory

This is known simply as the theory of rational improvement, which is thereaprose: If you are in a situation that lends itself to nothingness, then any attempt will not be in vain. If you fail, you will only be back to the situation of nothingness, and you will have skills for the next attempt. You must keep your wits about you at all times.

how to be invisible

First, gentle reader, let me assure you that this will be a helpful guide to accompany you on any path you may choose to travel upon. First, there is a theory of talking to girls. It is known as the "cloud theory." I give credit to a Mr. James for this theory as well. The theory is thereaprose: girls will be surrounded by friends in what is known as a "cloud." To insert yourself into this cloud in almost all circumstances will prove disastrous to your cause. No, you must dispense the cloud, through artificial or natural means. I will speak of the latter first. By natural means, I mean an occurrence that forces a separation of the participles of the cloud. This could happen by some new participle, known as a "disrupter participle." (Keep in mind the scenario will change from a natural to an artificial if the disrupter is an advicate of yours). The artificial means could be a disrupter participle or an personified entry. A personified entry is one in which the purpose is disguised under the guise of an ulterior purpose. For example, an object may enter their cloud, giving you the oppertunity to retrieve it without suspicion. Always remember this when dealing with a cloud: they can appear very rapidly. Always have someone on the outside to pull you out of a dangerous cloud. Until next time, keep fighting!